It's been more than a month. I'm sure we're both aware of it.. Never counting exactly how many days.. But still subconsciously aware.. At least, I am.. I was..
It hurt so much at first.. Like the pain would never end.. I was giving up something that I've gotten used to for so long.. I was ending a huge part of my life..
But it had to be done.. We both knew it.. We both felt it.. It hurt.. But somehow it felt right..
It happened.. It went so fast.. I didn't realize That it was over.. We were over.. I wasn't aware that you had said goodbye.. I don't remember if I said it.. But if I did.. At that moment.. I never completely meant it..
It was hard to live with that decision.. At one moment happy about it.. The next, wanting to go back.. But I stuck with it.. Held my ground.. And moved on..
It was never complete though.. There were always thoughts of you.. Memories, lingering here and there.. It was unavoidable.. I knew they'd come.. But they weren't enough to make me look back..
The 15th.. Almost, but not quite.. A reminder of what we could've been.. What we might've had.. It's sad.. To think of the probable future.. Even more than reminiscing the past.. For there's always this regret that I could never shake off..
It's been long overdue.. My goodbye.. I've been putting it off for so long.. Still holding a part of my past.. Never fully letting go.. For a moment.. I shunned the thoughts.. The memories.. Locked them all up in the darkest regions of my mind.. But they were there.. Though silent and unmoving.. Unearthing them brought back all the emotions.. The happiness.. The pain.. Everything.. But it's time.. To completely be free of this prison I've made for myself.. I've gotten over you..
Overly dramatic? Perhaps.. I won't attempt to defend myself.. Let them think what they want.. I'll let you think what you want.. This was never really for you.. It's for me.. My confession.. My commitment.. ME..
So finally.. For all it's worth.. To your friendship.. A warm hello.. To your love..
goodbye..
It hurt so much at first.. Like the pain would never end.. I was giving up something that I've gotten used to for so long.. I was ending a huge part of my life..
But it had to be done.. We both knew it.. We both felt it.. It hurt.. But somehow it felt right..
It happened.. It went so fast.. I didn't realize That it was over.. We were over.. I wasn't aware that you had said goodbye.. I don't remember if I said it.. But if I did.. At that moment.. I never completely meant it..
It was hard to live with that decision.. At one moment happy about it.. The next, wanting to go back.. But I stuck with it.. Held my ground.. And moved on..
It was never complete though.. There were always thoughts of you.. Memories, lingering here and there.. It was unavoidable.. I knew they'd come.. But they weren't enough to make me look back..
The 15th.. Almost, but not quite.. A reminder of what we could've been.. What we might've had.. It's sad.. To think of the probable future.. Even more than reminiscing the past.. For there's always this regret that I could never shake off..
It's been long overdue.. My goodbye.. I've been putting it off for so long.. Still holding a part of my past.. Never fully letting go.. For a moment.. I shunned the thoughts.. The memories.. Locked them all up in the darkest regions of my mind.. But they were there.. Though silent and unmoving.. Unearthing them brought back all the emotions.. The happiness.. The pain.. Everything.. But it's time.. To completely be free of this prison I've made for myself.. I've gotten over you..
Overly dramatic? Perhaps.. I won't attempt to defend myself.. Let them think what they want.. I'll let you think what you want.. This was never really for you.. It's for me.. My confession.. My commitment.. ME..
So finally.. For all it's worth.. To your friendship.. A warm hello.. To your love..
goodbye..
2 comments:
Shakespeare said that "parting is such sweet sorrow" and there are so many levels of interpretations in this sentence which makes me think that we have sorrows and pain and it is part of our lives. However, all the troubles makes us stronger, just like gold tried in fire; by all the sorrows, it is revealed our preciosity. And so we have the sorrow - it's hard, painful - and we have the sweet, a whole new life where you can be yourself. It's a strong word: paalam!
I was shocked when I heard the news. Anyway, I'm glad you've been able to move on.
I agree with the previous comment. It is a strong word.
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